egosashimi

channel 0 / broadcast since never

EGO-VISION®

THE TELEVISION THAT ARRIVED BEFORE THE HOUSE. IT PLAYS NINE CHANNELS. EIGHT ARE LISTED BELOW. THE SET REMEMBERS WHAT YOU WATCHED, AND SO DOES THE OTHER ONE.

CH --

NO SIGNAL

the broadcast has not begun. enable javascript or perform the ritual.

bytes 0
EGOVISION DELUXE 2000

MODEL EGO-RM9 · BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED (NEVER WERE)

keys work too: 0–9 jump · ↑/↓ surf · P power

tonight's listings / printed on request

THE TV GUIDE

watched 0 / 8 listed

  1. 00

    THE SNOW

    Carrier lost in 1987. The pattern is not random. Staring is a transaction.

    unwatched
  2. 01

    FISH CAM

    Live from tank 3. Population varies. Feeding costs bytes. The fish remember who fed them and who merely watched.

    unwatched
  3. 02

    EMERGENCY BROADCAST

    This is not a test. This is not even a broadcast. Please remain calm in the direction of the screen.

    unwatched
  4. 03

    3AM INFOMERCIAL

    The BYTE BLASTER 9000 can be yours for only 33 bytes. Operators are standing by. They never sit.

    unwatched
  5. 04

    HYPNO WHEEL

    You are getting sleepy. Do not blink. Blinking is recorded and it disappoints everyone.

    unwatched
  6. 05

    NEWS 4 THE VOID

    All the news that fits inside the void, plus weather. Tomorrow: void. Back to you.

    unwatched
  7. 06

    TEST PATTERN

    Please stand by. The tone is silent. The colors are legally distinct from the ones you remember.

    unwatched
  8. 07

    THE HALLWAY

    A hallway. Fluorescent, carpeted, endless. Nobody has ever found the room it leads to. The camera keeps walking anyway.

    unwatched

* guide does not list every receivable channel. the set receives what it wants to receive.

owner's manual / page 1 of 1

BROADCAST NOTES

WARNING

The set does not produce sound and never has. If you hear sound, that is coming from your side of the screen.

THE ECONOMY

Some channels accept your pretend bytes (see: infomercial, fish). One channel pays you to watch it (see: snow). The exchange rate is a rumor.

MEMORY

The set stores your last channel and your watched list in your own browser, under a key it refuses to discuss. Clearing your cookies is a small funeral.

CHANNEL 08

There is no channel 08 in this guide. If you arrive there anyway: do not leave quickly, do not leave slowly, and do not let it finish counting your bytes.

leave the den · the clean map · the ashtray (if you know)